Glory

It's been a while. While I have a few posts I would like to write (what I learned flying with an 18 month old, the quilt I made in 2 days, and maybe something pregnancy related)...I have something on my heart that I want to share.

I felt very convicted a few weeks ago about not MAKING (not FINDING!) time to spend with God. I found myself getting easily frustrated and a little impatient at times, and that's always my cue to get my head and my heart in the game.

I started reading Forgotten God by Francis Chan, a book recommended by a dear friend of mine. I bought it on the kindle because as a mom, I need my books to be portable. One of my favorite times to read is while I rock Josiah. I just take my phone with me and once he falls asleep I can pull up my kindle app and have some peace and quiet with my book while listening to Josiah breathe while Ava kicks him through my belly (which thankfully he can't feel yet!).

Last week I came across a verse that made me put the book (phone) down and I couldn't read it again until I figured out how I felt about what it was saying to me.

"We all have something to offer because of what the Spirit gives to us" 1 Corinthians 12:7

I was taken back because one of my personal struggles is not knowing what my spiritual gifts are. I don't feel like I'm "good" at anything. But we ALL have something to offer. So I took that and chewed on it for about a week. What do I have to offer?

My passion is reaching junior high girls. Such a vulnerable time in life. From the week after Thanksgiving until the week before Spring Break I, along with my awesome volunteers, run a program called Girl Talk for the 7th and 8th grade girls at the school where Ryan is the JH Campus Life director. This is my chance to be open and honest with them about where I've been, what I've learned and what God has done in my life. This is a time I'm actually thankful for my mistakes. I see now why I went through the things I did and made the mistakes I've made. To tell these girls I'VE BEEN THERE.

This must be my spiritual gift. If its not then I'm really at a loss for where I need to be.

One of the things Ryan and I hear very often, mostly from the parents, is a thank you for what we do for these kids. I almost always am at a loss for words because I don't know what to say to that. I don't feel like I'm "doing" anything. As I continued to read today after realizing I DO have something to offer, this jumped out of the page and landed right on my heart:

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give the glory to your Father who is in heaven" Matthew 5:16

That's why I don't know what to say. The glory doesn't belong to Ryan or myself, it belongs to God and Him alone. It's something that I knew, but didn't have the words to respond that way. Now I have the words.

That's how EVERYTHING should be. Don't do good deeds, give to those in need, serve others, hold your tongue when you want to let hatred come out, and just try to be a "good person" for your OWN GLORY. It's not your glory to be had. Do it for HIS GLORY. Be a servant. Be compassionate. Be giving. Be patient. Be kind. SHINE THE LIGHT OF JESUS DAILY for the glory of God.

It's not about you.