What's in a name?

We had it picked out before we found out that Josiah was boy. This is actually how we knew Josiah would be a boy, because we could only agree on a girl name:

Ava Grace

When we found out we were having a girl this time, we were relieved to know we already had her name ready to go (even though we also agreed on a boy name if it were a boy again). Truth be told, I had started calling her Ava before it was confirmed that she was a girl. And so did Josiah.

My belly started growing and Josiah started learning about this new little person that would be joining our family. He quickly started including her in EVERYTHING. "Mommy, daddy, yiya (what he calls himself) and baby Avya go to baseball game". He had this thing with Ryan where they would YELL all of our names, and when he said Ava, it came out "A-ve-ya"

Like most parents do, we start using the words our kids use...

Thank you was "taint too"

Please is "pease"

Cars are "tars"

Goofy is "Doofy"

and Ava was "A-ve-yah"

After a couple months of us now referring to her with this crazy name, and a couple months of us hearing "Oh Ava is such a pretty name, my cousins name is that...and a little girl in my class...and my friends little girl"

We decided it had stuck. Her name has changed. While it sounds like it should be spelled "Avia", Ryan and I agreed that we didn't like the "i" and we like "y's" better. We think our preference in specific letters comes from playing Scrabble. 

Avya Grace

My dad told me that meant she was a bird. So I was intrigued to find the meaning of this name. 

babynames.com - "We're sorry, there are no name matches for AVYA"

babynamewizard.com  - "Namipedia has no entry for Avya"

Now when I searched for this back in April, it did not come up. Avya is now on babycenter.com, but with no meaning or origin.

I finally found the origin of the name Avia. Although I think it might be pronounced slightly different, it was the closest thing I could find.

The meaning?

God is my Father

OR

A Child of God

Plus this means that her 18 month old brother named her, and what's cooler than that?

Avya's Birth Story

Everybody (every mom, at least) loves to hear a birth story. So here's ours.

My due date was September 1. The day after Josiah's 2nd birthday.

I had known through my whole pregnancy that we would not be making it to that date, not even to Josiah's birthday. The question was, what day was it going to be?

We scheduled my C-section for August 27. We scheduled the section, but I had talked to my doctor about the possibility of a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). We decided that if I were to go into labor and dilate to 6 on my own, I would try for the VBAC. Even with medical intervention with Josiah, I never progressed past 6 cm, so that was my magic number.

Friday August 23 was a pretty normal day in the Miller household. I had all 3 boys that I babysit and Josiah all napping, so I decided to go sit outside and get some fresh (quiet) air. I only sat outside for about 15 minutes before I got up to go check on them. When I got up I noticed my shorts were wet and I looked down at the chair and discovered this:

I took this picture and sent it to Ryan. I definitely didn't pee my pants (yes, I even smelled it to make sure). 

It was about 1:30 and the boys get picked up between 2:30-3:00, so I figured I'd wait it out and see how I felt. I was having contractions, but nothing painful or consistent.

When the boys woke up, I was sitting in my glider giving Levi his bottle until Roe & Declin got picked up. When I got up I noticed my glider was wet (I didn't take a picture of this one, you're welcome). 

Maybe my water is breaking? I feel like most people that have their water break on their own actually feel it happen. I felt nothing. I felt just fine. 

I didn't call the doctor until about 4:30p, just because I wanted to see what they thought. The nurse basically told me I need to get to L&D because I'm probably going to be meeting my daughter tonight. 

She didn't know that we had plans that night. 2 days prior was our anniversary and we spent it going to a funeral. So Ryan and I decided we would have our date night on Friday (tonight). 

When I got off the phone with her I text Ryan and said that when he got home from work we needed to go to the hospital to make sure my water didn't break (because I was in denial and didn't want it to break yet) so that we could get home in time to go to dinner. So I showered, cleaned up the house and we didn't leave until 6:00.

I checked into the hospital at 6:15 and they took me back to have me checked. They did the first "swab" test to check for fluid and it came back negative. Then they did the 2nd test that was a little more invasive, and it also came back negative. Yes. Perfect. Let's blow this popsicle stand and get on with our date! 

The nurse isn't allowed to make the call to send me home, so we had to wait for the on call doctor (who happened to be my OB) to call in to discharge me. At about 7:20p, she came in to tell me the doctor cleared me to go home, but asked me if I was feeling all the contractions I was having. I said yes and they were starting to get more painful. Turns out they were coming on very strong every 3-4 minutes. 

She checked me to see if I was progressing and baby hadn't dropped, I wasn't dilated or even starting to efface. 

So back to the phone she went and a few minutes later they were coming in to give me an IV. Great. I HATE IV's! It was BY FAR the most painful part of my delivery with Josiah. Plus, why am I getting an IV when I clearly haven't started this adventure yet? I hear all the time about people going into L&D and being sent home even though they're dilated to like 3?! I was convinced I was going home and they were just prolonging this process.

The doctor ordered an IV because he thought I was just dehydrated since I hadn't had anything to drink since about 2. Which is probably true. 

They told us I had to be on the IV for an hour. Up to this point, we had Josiah with us in this little room. When we found out it would be at least another hour, we called Ryan's mom to have her come pick him up.

While Ryan was taking Josiah out to his mom, the nurse came in and made her first attempt at my IV. I wasn't watching (because I tend to pass out) and didn't realize she MISSED and I had a huge welt on my right arm and was bleeding a ton. Ryan came in as she was putting it in my left arm. A few seconds later Ryan said "She's going to pass out". He was right. Out I went. They probably wonder how I ever had my first baby, much less going to have a second! 

The IV was incredibly painful, just like when I had them re-do my IV with Josiah (I had to have one in each arm with him....awful). But I wasn't even about to have this crazy nurse do it a third time. 

My fluids started at about 7:45pm. There goes date night. Or at least the date night we were expecting. So we sat in this tiny little waiting room watching the Hunchback of Notre Dame. My contractions weren't as painful as the moment when they decided I needed to stay. Snooze fest.

At 8:15, the nurse came in and checked me again. Still nothing. She then told me that she would be very surprised if the doctor sent me home. WHAT? I'm not progressing. I'm having some contractions but nothing crazy or even remotely painful. Why in the world are you keeping me here?! (I have a feeling any mother reading this who was sent home from the hospital is a little envious but I was just convinced we were going home and she wouldn't be born til Tuesday)

This whole time I'd been texting my mom and updating her on what's going on. I told them not to jump in the car yet (since they had a 2+ hour drive) because I didn't want them to have to turn around and go back. 

At 8:45pm the nurse came in and the first thing out of her mouth was 

"Okay, the doctor is on his way, you're going to be having your baby in about 15 minutes" 

So nonchalant. I probably looked like I just saw a ghost. 

Like I mentioned before, I never got past 6cm with Josiah. Therefore the main reason (there were others) that I had a c-section with Josiah is for failure to progress. I had been having these consistent contractions for so long, even after being on fluids, and I wasn't getting anywhere. Failure to progress.

My doctor was in my room within about 5 minutes. I was SO THANKFUL that my doctor was the one who was on call. He knows me, he knows my fears of the surgery and he knows exactly how to make me feel at ease. 

One of the things we discussed when we talked about having a VBAC is that we did not want me to have to go through hours of labor just to have a c-section like last time. It would take longer for me to have to recover from labor and surgery than just surgery alone, and lets face it, with a 2 year old... I need the shortest recovery possible. Since I was in labor and not getting anywhere, it was best to just take her now.

Makes sense when he explains it, just not when I'm blindsided by a nurse telling me I'm about to meet my daughter when I thought I was going to be meeting up with some delicious (fully cooked) sushi! 

I called my mom and told her how fast it was happening and they jumped in the car in a panic!

The preparations began. The super tight socks on my legs (that Ryan insisted I bring home because he wants to wear them), taking off all my jewelry, getting Ryan in his scrubs, putting a pretty hair net on my head and of course getting my nerves all in a bunch. I knew what to expect this time (for the most part) and I think that made me more nervous.

I was put under general anesthesia with Josiah (totally knocked out, Ryan had to leave the room kind of thing). This time I would be awake. That made this mama, who passes out from getting an IV put in, a little INSANELY nervous. 

By 9:00 I was walking down the hall, holding my gown so I didn't give anyone a show, pulling my IV pole to the OR. Ryan went into a little waiting room while I went in to get my spinal. They did a spinal this time instead of an epidural. They explained the difference and why I was getting the spinal, but I was in a fog and don't remember. The anesthesiologist was AWESOME. It didn't hurt at all and he was just cracking jokes with me the whole time. Some people can't have that kind of bedside manner and need to be serious in that kind of situation. NOT ME. I need comic relief. Get my mind off it please! 

Once my spinal was in, they laid me on the table and started all the preparations. A couple minutes later the doctor walked in with Ryan in trail just chatting it up about the Clark family! What in the world? Apparently Ryan was in that waiting room for like a second before my doctor came and got him and let him stand outside the room looking in while they prepped me. Once I was laying down I closed my eyes because I just wanted to pray and calm down. They were guessing whether or not I passed out! haha. 

Ryan was then right by my side holding my hand with our camera in his pocket ready to go. Once they started going it was the STRANGEST feeling ever. I could feel everything, but no pain. I just kept saying "this is so weird. this is so weird". Within a couple minutes Dr. Schwartz said

 "okay dad, got your camera ready?" 

He had him lean over and take pictures of her coming out. Let's just say I can barely look at the thumbnails of these pictures right now, maybe some day. Still makes me nauseous to even think about it. 

at 9:30 pm I heard the cry of the most beautiful baby girl

When Ryan walked over to see her getting cleaned up, the first thing he said was 

"She looks exactly like Josiah"

I told you the anesthesiologist was awesome. He grabbed the camera and started taking pictures for us. 

By 9:50 I was all put back together (nice image huh?). At 10:10, this got to happen:

After 5 minutes of just staring at her and being overwhelmed with so many feelings of being able to hold my healthy baby girl, we started nursing and she was a professional from the first second.

My parents arrived at about 10:45 and the nurse told us they could come back to the recovery room with me. This is ironic because they were at the hospital the entire 34 hours of labor with Josiah and didn't get to meet him until about 4 hours after he was born. They were in Greenwood when I was told she was coming and got to meet her just barely an hour after she was born. 

Ryan's grandparents came up to our house to stay with Josiah while he slept and Ryan's mom actually made came into the recovery room as well! (Keep in mind this is just one of those little cubby rooms with a curtain as a door) So glad we could fill that room with some love in her first moments of life:)

Avya Grace

9:30pm

6lbs 6 oz 19.5 in

Now that we're down to 3 weeks...

I thought I'd fill you in on my pregnancy!

The c section is scheduled for August 27, therefore we have 3 more weeks TOPS! CRAZY! And I haven't written a single blog post about my pregnancy. So there it is. All at once.

Big #1 Question pregnant women get: So, how do you feel?

Ahh. Pregnant. Pregnant is my answer.

Honestly, I have been blessed with 2 amazing pregnancies. With Josiah I felt nauseous like crazy during my first trimester, but never actually got "sick" if you know what I mean. I think I had maybe a couple random days during my first trimester of feeling a little blue, but nothing even close to the nausea I had with Josiah (which wasn't even that bad). I did get the 24 hour flu where I threw up like 8 times in 3 hours...but that wasn't baby related.

Towards the end of my second trimester, I did get to experience something new. Popped blood vessels and lovely varicose veins. All in my right leg. I'd say it was around 27ish weeks I started getting weird bruises on my leg. I honestly thought I just ran into something, because I tend to do that. Well turns out they are still there. The pressure she's putting on my body is popping blood vessels. It's a really crazy looking thing. It bulges out of my leg, it's incredibly warm to touch (sometimes hot) and looks super sexy!;) It has gotten much more sore the past few weeks but I'm still able to keep up my workout routine for the most part.

Other than needing some extra sleep and naps, I feel great! Definitely not to the point of "please get this baby out of me" other than I've been ready to see her face since we started talking about having #2!

Exercise:
I have been working out 4-6 days a week throughout this entire pregnancy. Absolutely no less than 4. I was still running jogging until maybe about 24 weeks but the pressure from the movement of running was just getting to be too much, so I switched to ellipticals, stairs and biking. I also did Zumba up until my leg got really bad and I figured all of that movement probably wasn't helping the situation, so I stopped that :( Can't wait to get that back started again. The past week or so have been off and on with how long I can make it on the elliptical before my leg starts cramping and my foot goes numb, but if I can't go longer then I just go do free weights or something. The point is, I'm staying in much better shape this time (although I was in much better shape before getting pregnant with Avya than I was with Josiah). I've actually gained somewhere between 10-15 lbs LESS this time than I did with Josiah and feel much better at this point than I did with him, and I contribute that to staying active! I'm NOT looking forward to being told I can't exercise for 6 weeks. That's going to drive me crazy.

Lots of people want to know about if pregnant women are still wearing their wedding ring? I haven't had an issue with that either pregnancy. In fact it's kind of loose.

So now to what everyone always wants to see: Progress pictures!

That's about it! I can't wait to meet my little lady!:) I have posted a few pics on instagram of her nursery, but it's not totally done yet, so I will post those on here when it's all done!:) 

Picture time!

For Father's Day, I really wanted to surprise Ryan with some photos taken of Josiah, Avya and myself. He loves pictures as much as I do and I wanted him to have a nice picture to hang in his new office next month:) Well I started feeling guilty that he wouldn't be apart of our family pictures. Thankfully, we have a wonderful photographer, Lydia. We planned the pictures at the greenway close to where Ryan plays softball, right before Ryan's softball game. Therefore, he had to leave and was only there for about 15-20 minutes of picture taking and we acted as if we were done, but then got in a few more as a surprise. 

I'm SO GLAD I decided to still keep part of it a surprise because he told me it was the best father's day gift ever. So here's a few of our favs:

Glory

It's been a while. While I have a few posts I would like to write (what I learned flying with an 18 month old, the quilt I made in 2 days, and maybe something pregnancy related)...I have something on my heart that I want to share.

I felt very convicted a few weeks ago about not MAKING (not FINDING!) time to spend with God. I found myself getting easily frustrated and a little impatient at times, and that's always my cue to get my head and my heart in the game.

I started reading Forgotten God by Francis Chan, a book recommended by a dear friend of mine. I bought it on the kindle because as a mom, I need my books to be portable. One of my favorite times to read is while I rock Josiah. I just take my phone with me and once he falls asleep I can pull up my kindle app and have some peace and quiet with my book while listening to Josiah breathe while Ava kicks him through my belly (which thankfully he can't feel yet!).

Last week I came across a verse that made me put the book (phone) down and I couldn't read it again until I figured out how I felt about what it was saying to me.

"We all have something to offer because of what the Spirit gives to us" 1 Corinthians 12:7

I was taken back because one of my personal struggles is not knowing what my spiritual gifts are. I don't feel like I'm "good" at anything. But we ALL have something to offer. So I took that and chewed on it for about a week. What do I have to offer?

My passion is reaching junior high girls. Such a vulnerable time in life. From the week after Thanksgiving until the week before Spring Break I, along with my awesome volunteers, run a program called Girl Talk for the 7th and 8th grade girls at the school where Ryan is the JH Campus Life director. This is my chance to be open and honest with them about where I've been, what I've learned and what God has done in my life. This is a time I'm actually thankful for my mistakes. I see now why I went through the things I did and made the mistakes I've made. To tell these girls I'VE BEEN THERE.

This must be my spiritual gift. If its not then I'm really at a loss for where I need to be.

One of the things Ryan and I hear very often, mostly from the parents, is a thank you for what we do for these kids. I almost always am at a loss for words because I don't know what to say to that. I don't feel like I'm "doing" anything. As I continued to read today after realizing I DO have something to offer, this jumped out of the page and landed right on my heart:

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give the glory to your Father who is in heaven" Matthew 5:16

That's why I don't know what to say. The glory doesn't belong to Ryan or myself, it belongs to God and Him alone. It's something that I knew, but didn't have the words to respond that way. Now I have the words.

That's how EVERYTHING should be. Don't do good deeds, give to those in need, serve others, hold your tongue when you want to let hatred come out, and just try to be a "good person" for your OWN GLORY. It's not your glory to be had. Do it for HIS GLORY. Be a servant. Be compassionate. Be giving. Be patient. Be kind. SHINE THE LIGHT OF JESUS DAILY for the glory of God.

It's not about you.